Have you ever wondered why even a good change can cause you anxiety and distress on several levels?
Many times in my life I knew that the next step I was going to take was going to be a good choice. It might even have been a fantastic one and yet still I reacted with fear.
Then there were times when I wanted something so bad and then GOT it, yet that same fear or anxiety would creep up out of nowhere. I had won the prize, so why was I reacting this way?
A close friend and I were talking about changes in our lives and how we would often respond so negatively toward them.
As we talked she pointed out to me, “Well you know, change is perceived as loss most of the time.” It doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative change it still equals the loss in some way.
Change is perceived as a loss.
That totally makes sense to me.
Whatever your life looks like, good or bad, over time it will usually feel normal to you.
In that normalcy you find comfort. Any kind of change feels like its shaking things up.
It just doesn’t feel right.
I don’t like my boat getting rocked, do you? It’s scary, I mean you might sink or fall out.
Then what? If you can’t swim you’re a goner! Not good!
The known feels safe.
Anything could happen. It feels much safer to stay in the ‘known’ of your life.
So after thinking a little further about this, I could see why people have a hard time giving up their current circumstances.
People stay in bad relationships because it is safer than the unknown.
You don’t take that perfect job you’ve always wanted because… guessed it, that dreaded unknown again.
And you could lose everything.
Well, I say it’s time to kick that fear in the butt and move forward!
Why not choose thoughts like, “I could gain so much with this change.”
Change brings possibilities. It brings hope. Your dreams can come true.
If your life is about to take a positive new path and it’s stressing you out, here’s a helpful technique.
I use The Healing Codes for most of these kinds of issues but you can also use EFT or other similar tools.
Step 1: write down the change that is causing you stress.
Step 2: Ask yourself what the highest charged emotion you have around this issue is. Many times its fear so I’ll use that as an example.
Step 3: Now ask when earlier in your life did you feel a fear that had a big charge similar to this?
Step 4: Now use one of the tools I mentioned on that early fear as well as the current one.
If you want some instructions on using The Healing Codes contact me HERE and I will send you the Universal Healing Code as well as instructions on how to apply it.
The one thing we can count on in life is CHANGE. Life, relationships, our bodies, the weather.
Change is always happening, so let’s learn to deal with it in a positive way.
let’s start thinking of change as an exciting adventure, leading to your greatest hopes and dreams?
That’s my plan!
Love it Melissa! When you can see change as GAIN, you’re onto something. Thanks!
Glad you are here visiting. I appreciate it 😉
Ah, this post so speaks to me…having just posted a blog today about how I worked through some recent fear, this is another great tool to add to my toolbox! Change is something I’ve feared in the past (and sometimes it comes up as a fear today), I love thinking of it as way to open to the door to new possibilities. Here’s to change and all of our greatest dreams coming true as a result!
I think we all have times like that and finding ways through it can only be a good thing, right? Yes Cheers to change!
Thanks for stopping by girl 😉
That’s an important point you make about our resistance to change.
It’s true that we all crave for predictability and status quo .Change takes that away.It gives us the comfort of neither and we’re left wondering about where to start from.
That’s when we begin to yearn for control;and the more control we want the less spontaneous we are .Instead ,accommodating change within our lives is an empowering discipline which prods us towards growth and wisdom.yet its not a choice we are willing to make on our own,normally.
Thanks for the insight Melissa
Well said Mona!
I agree. Sometimes it just takes a little ‘ease’ instead of the old push 😉
Thanks for being here ((Big Hug))
Hi Melissa, I personally love change and for many of the reason/benefits you pointed out. But this post really helped me to understand one of the possible reasons why my wife hates change. I’ve never considered it from the standout of a loss. I’ve only looked at it from the viewpoint of a gain. But it makes so much sense. I’m going to share this post with her and I think it will resonate.
Oh Joel, I totally ‘get’ your wife 😉
While I am working through some changes in my life right now that old pattern is so much less pulling to me. My husband can’t believe how much more spontaneous and go with the flow I am now. We’ve been together since I was 19 so he knows me REAL well -lol. He says, “I still can’t get over how you handle things these days.” Change is possible and just being aware of what you want to change is a start. Hugs to your wife 😉
Great post and definitely a topic that brings a lot of resistance. I love your perspective and point that it’s inevitable, so why not deal with it in a positive way. Besides, life would be pretty boring if we didn’t have change, growth and transformation. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Yes change carries a lot of power and learning to ride that wave makes everything so much more fun. I used to hate any sort of change as it would cause me so much anxiety. Last minute changes were the worst and would totally put me over the edge. it is so nice being able to flow with everything now. I couldn’t imagine returning to that kind of reaction again.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing a part of yourself 😉
Great post Melissa. I work with people to help them make changes in their lives and I often find we have to address the fear of change itself before diving into what’s bothering them. I love your method I’m definitely going to try it out. Thank you!
That’s great Susan! Thanks for being here. I would love to talk sometime and learn more about what you do 😉
Change does bring in lots of fears and anxieties. The apprehensions, doubts about the tide going against me worries me to death. But over the last two years I have converted these anxieties to attract postives vibes and console that if this were not to happen something better is in store for me and believe me, I am not let down most of the times. This I consider as the healing process. Slow it may be but its good for the heart.
I agree Kalpana,
Usually everything happens for a reason and in perfect timing. I look back at my life and see things similar … It’s all good for the most part and I wouldn’t go back and change anything. Thanks for visiting.
Emotions have a direct connection with change. Not just fear, anxiety or insecurity…
Some changes bring us boundless happiness. They are those streamers that add more hues to life but some drag us down into the ditches of depression. Isn’t it paradoxical?
Love them or hate them, changes will always fill our life with varied vagaries. It is better to welcome them with open arms…no doubt they bring along new dreams and adventures. Thanks for sharing!
I love it Balroop. “they bring along new dreams and adventures. ” so very true. I like your attitude! Thanks for taking the time to be here!