What is your relationship with pain?
Do you struggle with it, wanting to wrestle it to the ground? Or do you ease and flow, being kind to yourself and others while in the midst of it?
I’ve listened to many talks on the subject and most of the self-help Gurus teach that we should accept it as if you had chosen it. Embrace it if you will… Detachment is key in this whole process in order to heal.
To tell you the truth that kind of talk used to upset me. I didn’t want ANY pain, I wanted it gone. I didn’t want to learn to live with it. I certainly didn’t want to embrace it!
I struggled to find new ways to help with the physical pain as well as the emotional pain that tagged along with it.
Tapping into your Inner pain.
I felt so lucky when I came a crossed a method called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which I had heard some amazing stories about.
EFT uses tapping instead of needles to stimulate traditional Chinese acupuncture points.
It seemed to help with everything from major illnesses, chronic pain, and emotional issues as well.
A full package deal!
I saw great benefits with EFT and went through the whole training programs that were available. I just loved what Gary Craig, the founder, had to teach. He really cared about helping people and was going through many hoops to make EFT available to everyone.
Then slowly as I worked with the tapping, things started to change for me. I still had pain but it didn’t bother me as much and I really felt there was less of it as well. EFT helped me ‘feel’ differently about my situation. I had less anxiety about it and less anger and sadness.
It made it easier for me to keep reaching out to other techniques and find more of the tools I needed to gain more healing.
There are so many out there and not everything is for everyone. But please don’t give up, as the very next method may give you the answers you are looking for.
What I learned was the best thing we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge the pain and stop resisting it in order to release it. Meaning not give it power by constantly pushing against it or trying to force it to leave. This only creates more tension and stress and stress equals more pain.
Let’s find out what you are feeling
So to find out what your relationship is with your pain, you will need to pay attention to your emotions around the negative issues involved.
For example, if you get headaches, how does that make you feel? Are you angry or feel hopeless? Whatever your feelings, That is your relationship with that issue.
It sort of reminds me of my relationship with my kids. When they are naughty, at times I am less patient and could get frustrated, even angry. Other times I feel patient and easy. Nothing has changed between the two situations except how I feel. One is definitely better than the other.
That is how any pain situation can be as well. You have the chance to have a better relationship with all the issues in your life. Letting go of your negative feelings around those issues relieves a lot of burden off of your body, mind, and spirit. This frees up your whole system to heal more effectively.
By doing this I made leaps in my own healing. The remaining pain I had finally left, which I am so grateful for.
Always on a Journey
That doesn’t mean I don’t have new issues crop up but I am more apt to let them teach me what they’re supposed to and then release them.
I would like you to answer a few questions below to find out what kind of pain you have and what YOUR relationship is with it.
Name 5 things that you are in pain over.
This can be emotional, physical, relationship or anything else you can think of.
Now write down what your relationship is with each one. Think in terms of your response or reaction when the pain happens. If you have fear do you ignore or deny the pain? Do you attack or do you totally collapse from the pressure?
You now know what emotions you need to work on around your circumstances.
You will be free once you learn to face your pain and deal with it when it happens. Burying it will only make it grow stronger and take deeper roots.
If you aren’t familiar with The Healing Codes yet I strongly recommend that you try using it. It helps you to release yourself from your attachment with the pain in your life.
If you need help in this process feel free to contact me for a session HERE. I also have a free guide, on how to handle old buried emotions in your life, which you can download HERE.
Your relationship with pain can be shifted into something wonderful. There are so many things we all learn along the way. The gift is in what we learn and how we move through those times.
It’s so true Melissa that our thoughts, beliefs and perspectives about pain make all the difference. I have a friend who chooses to love her pain…amazingly enough it doesn’t stay with her for long. Not to say it doesn’t return, but it’s always so much easier to focus on techniques whilst being pain free. EFT works well for her too.
If your friend ever wants to try The Healing Codes she may find the effects more lasting. I would love to give her a free consult if she is interested. Just have her send me an email.
Have a great rest of the weekend!
I like the idea of tuning in to your thoughts that are accompanying the pain you are experiencing as a clue for the source of the pain. That’s a great idea. Your analogy regarding children was helpful too.
I haven’t used tapping much myself, but I am familiar with it and it’s role in EFT. I enjoyed reading your description of it as it provided another perspective on the topic. Thanks for sharing!
There are so many aspects and ways to use these kinds of methods. I was working with a client over the phone this last week and we actually cleared some issues she needed worked on right then and there. It works so easily and quickly. I use several methods to help and choose according to what feels appropriate at the time. Then I give them a customized method to use on themselves over the next few weeks. you get a lot covered that way.
I love hearing from you. Thanks for visiting!
I appreciate this post on our relationship with pain, Melissa. When people are faced with pain they can have many different responses, and it is important to understand what those are, so that you can move forward in a more positive direction. Your questions are particularly helpful. Thanks for the information.
Our pain usually has something important to tell us. It’s so good to learn to listen and see what your symptoms mean. Usually it’s tied to something in your life. I love Louise Hay’s books on what symptoms mean. It’s so interesting 😉
Thanks for being here!
I ask my body what it needs when I’m in pain. If I listen closely, I can usually get ahead of things. EFT helps. Being gentle with my body also helps. When I hurt myself, I no longer berate my body but love it up instead.
That is very intuitive Shann,
I love it. It seems that as I work with my clients they get more and more open to that and is such a great thing. When we can actually ‘hear’ what is needed and follow it, we heal so much faster.
Thanks for your insight!
This article reminds me of the EFT tapping seminar I attended (via online) last year. It was very interesting and one of the first steps I took in my journey of inner peace.
I never got the hang of tapping, mostly because I didn’t devote enough time to really learn about it, but I did enjoy the process.
Thanks for visiting. I still love EFT tapping and it can be very effective. I use The Healing Codes a bigger percentage of the time. I feel it goes deeper and is more relaxing. Kind of like meditation for me only easier because your mind doesn’t need to be blank.
With both though they do take some time every day to work. It’s totally worth it to feel good though 😉
Thanks again and have a great week!