A Mother’s heart.
This last weekend My oldest Son graduated from College. I can honestly say it was one of the most moving moments in my life.
As I watched him walk up to the podium and accept his diploma it hit me, that he was officially on his way to creating the life he wants.
This is always what I’ve wanted for him. My sweet boy had grown up and was now on his way pursuing his own dreams.
Then it hit me…
What every Mother seems to go through at some point… Uncertainty.
All these feelings came rushing forward. I was prepared for many of them but a few really took me by surprise.
Had I done a good enough job?
Was I a good enough Mother all these years?
All the mistakes I made came rushing back. I could have done so much better by him.
But there are no do-overs.
We make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
And sometimes make excuses and sometimes take when we should be giving.
We look back over our shoulders often seeing things from slanted perspectives, that are geared for making ourselves feel better in the present.
I felt the floodgates open.
So now what?
We had a house full of family and friends, so I wasn’t able to process all the emotions going through me until they left.
And then I was alone…
I felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on me. I ached all over I had a headache from hell. The tears started falling and all I wanted to do was sleep.
This is when I needed to use The Healing Codes more than anything… but I stalled.
I sat with these feelings for a full day before I started working on them. Maybe I needed it all to soak in, or maybe I just wanted to wallow in it. I’m not really sure. But when I was finally able to, I picked myself up and looked at my favorite tool.
Here are the steps I used that day.
1. Choose the highest charged emotion you are feeling at the time. For me, guilt at not being good enough came first.
2. Use a custom healing code or one from the manual or book, until that emotion has dropped down to below a 1.
3. Then reassess your emotions and see how you’re feeling. You may feel completely at peace with only a few self-sessions. If not then ask what new emotions have come up. Sometimes your feelings change and in that case, start the next session with those new emotions.
You know you are done when you are feeling complete peace.
The relief I felt was deep and profound. It did take me a couple of days to work on it. I slowly let go of several of my mistakes. I even found early memories of my relationship with my own mother and was able to release those as well and that was a bonus.
It still astonishes me how my physical body can react when I go through extreme emotions and stress. Thankfully all that pain cleared as well.
Finally, I allowed myself to feel the love, as well as the pride in this wonderful man, my son.
Going through this time was such a good opportunity to release many memories, emotions, and beliefs that would most likely have been drawn out.
It also brought up the reality that there were so many great things I did as a Mother. In fact, after doing my codes I could see way more positive than anything else.
I am again amazed at how life brings us to these moments of clarity and love and am grateful to have such wonderful tools.
Remember today to give yourself the love you need as freely as you’ve given it to those around you!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Hi Melissa – I’m so glad I’ve stumbled across your wonderful blog! I’m intrigued by much of what I see here, and look forward to exploring a bit more. Thank you for the work you do to make this a happier, more interconnected world.
I appreciate you taking the time to visit. If you have any questions email me any time. I would love to chat 😉
When you are a Mother, you are automatically gorgeous and perfect, no matter how many mistakes you make. 🙂 That’s what my son tells me!
Happy Mother’s Day, Melissa! Congratulations to your son. And a huge hug to you!
Thanks sweet Vidya,
What a nice Son you have;-) We are so lucky to have these children in our lives. What a gift! I hope the rest of your week is wonderful girl!
I remember somebody once told me that all of these transitions are like “Small Deaths.”
It’ s true.
Btw, you look like his girlfriend, not his mother. Damn you.
Thanks for being here and for the compliment 😉 Felt like that day really aged me… But it’s all good. The next step is his moving in a few weeks. I guess I will look at it as a good excuse to go visit the city.
Have a great rest of the week!
I think your steps to working through your emotions are similar to the ones I use, and I wholeheartedly agree with the feeling of peace being an indicator of having worked through the emotion as best you can. Congrats to you for both the milestone and your personal process!
Good to see you here. Thanks for the support and taking the time to write. I would love to hear more about what you do. Maybe we can chat sometime 😉
I’m so glad you got to a place of peace Melissa. Any tool that can get you there is priceless. When we’re at peace, we are loving mothers to all our children.
Love you Silvia!
Maybe I need some good soul cooking. I need to visit your site today and see what you’re cooking up in that kitchen of yours. That’s another great tool for finding some peace isn’t it. Just knowing you are preparing with love good food for your family 😉
Feeling like we’re “not good enough” seems so common. I used to think that I was the only person thinking those thoughts until I started to talk to more and more people. Thank you for sharing your steps to reverse those negative thoughts. The Healing Codes seem like a great way to find your inner peace and trust. Thanks for sharing! And congratulations about having a son that graduated! Success!!!
Oh, Melissa! It’s such an emotional time these graduations (and you do look like his girlfriend not his mother!)
My nephew and stepson both graduated 3 years ago and it was incredibly emotional. I think I was actually ill during one of the events leading up to it from memories of my own grad. Your process and healing codes sound beautiful and healing. It’s my first time to your site so I’ll take a look around. Thanks!
My oldest son graduated last year so I know why you’re going through. Pretty amazing time!! I have two more now to go!
Congratulations… you’ve obviously done a wonderful job!