Is there a rewind button around here somewhere?
I’m sure over the years you’ve said or done things, that you wish you could just rewind or reset in your life.
I know I’ve had many many times when I wish I could. Better yet show me a delete key!
You blurt out something, speaking before you think, sometimes hurting yourself or others. In most cases, it can be something minor and you and the recipient move on with no lasting harm.
But sometimes this can cause some serious damage to the people in your life.
There are so many ways that your words can hurt others and many times it wasn’t even your intention.
Then there are times when you are feeling a little snarky and you DO mean to cut with your words. You can apologize but you can’t take those words back and they can leave the other person feeling hurt and/or angry.
Recently I had someone say something to me that left me confused and hurt.
The words came with a compliment and then a sort of jab. My husband called it a backhanded compliment.
All I know is it left me feeling empty and my heart sad. Why would someone I have never really had much contact with purposely hurt me in any way.
I hadn’t done anything to deserve it and it made me feel… well, plain sick.
Take the opportunity.
I took this as an opportunity to address my own reactions to these feelings and apply my Healing Codes to them. Obviously, this had hit a nerve in me that resonated with something else in my life.
As I did my custom healing code on myself over these emotions, I had many things surface.
Memories of times in my life, when I had said similar things to others. I felt a deep sadness while this awareness came into my mind, as I allowed these memories to heal.
When I was done with my session, I realized that a lot of these types of circumstances would fall under the harmful actions category.
This category addresses things we do out of habit. Things we may not be aware of or are in our subconscious.
Regardless working on your inner programming and finding out why you are operating in this way, will help you in many ways.
By changing your patterns and working to replace your negative habits, you will have better overall feelings about yourself and others.
Take a Pause
Before you say something that you have any questions about in your mind, pause before speaking. If you still can’t think of the right words, take a step back and remain quiet. If it’s an ongoing discussion, then excuse yourself saying,“I need time to think about that before I answer.”
Now for those times when you may be a bit snarky, I would invite you to address yourself in an internal dialog.
Take a Step Back
Ask yourself, “What are my intentions with these words or actions?” If you can’t come up with something kind or helpful in some way, then take a step back.
Learn to take that ‘Pause’ as a moment for resetting yourself. If you don’t have good intentions, then it’s time to work on yourself and find what it is that is driving you to be outwardly hurtful.
We can all be guilty of this and believe me, the memories and shame that came forward with them, while I did my coding, was enough to have me address it today to you all.
Intentions are Powerful
Whatever was the cause for spurring you forward doesn’t really matter. What you choose to do from here on does.
I would love to see everyone take that ‘Pause’ take a step back and ask yourself, What is my intention?” Then move forward with a better intention if need be or stay quiet.
I believe most everyone has a good heart at their core. It’s your old inner programming that tends to take over at times sabotaging that good person you really are.
By working on this new system of taking that ‘Pause” and developing new healthier habits of communication, you win in every area of your life.
Think about the people in your life closest to you.
Those relationships can flourish and heal, by just being present and conscious with the words you say.
Wonderful post. I like the idea of asking what our “intentions” are. It really helps us figure out if we feel good about where we are going, or whether we need to change course, just like the “inner GPS” you mentioned in the picture. This piece spoke to me in so many ways — the power of words, reprograming the “inner hard drive,” and the like. Nicely done. Thanks for your inspiration. 🙂
I’m glad you found it useful. The programming we have is so deep that having some kind of tool to help de-program then reprogram is such a good thing. Changing the default on our inner GPS is the way to go, so we don’t keep ending up at the wrong destination.
Inspiring post. I love the words, “I would love to see everyone take that ‘Pause’ take a step back‘…” It is so important to consider our intentions before we speak or as you say, remain quiet. Thanks for a great post!
My ‘pause’ sometimes involves my biting my tongue-lol! That’s kept me quiet!
Thanks for stopping by. I love seeing you here.
Hi Melissa, I’m reminded of what my mum always said to us as kids…if you can’t find something good to say, don’t say anything at all. It’s a good habit to develop.
Words have incredible power to wound or uplift, choosing wounding words doesn’t do any of us any good – I think you put this so well. 🙂
What an awesome Mum Elle! I love it!
Words have so much power and choosing them wisely is a must!
Have a great week dear friend!
Yes Melissa, pausing and reflecting is often good. The ‘wrong’ words coming out often happens. Sometimes you can’t hit the pause button quick enough … life can be like that though there are [valuable] lessons to be learned. Thank You.
Be good to yourself
I hear you David,
Life can just speed forward so quickly and before we know it… whooooops!
It’s all a learning process for sure or for me lots of practice-Ha! Gotta love it!
Have a great week. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for the awesome reminders. As hard as I work at phrasing things carefully both toward others and toward myself in my own mind, I still screw these things up pretty often. The shame piece is so huge for me. I love the idea of bringing the focus back to intention and moving forward. Thanks for putting out just what I needed to read today.
So glad you liked it. Hey we are all human, right? I think it’s our job to screw up… The biggest thing is that we keep trying to be better humans, to show each other compassion and move forward.
I just visited your website and love your latest gluten free muffin recipe! Absolutely going to try that one. I’m excited about it!
Take care and thanks so much for taking the time to stop by 😉
Thanks Melissa. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thank you very much for sharing!..
My pleasure Tine!
What a beautiful post dear Melissa! I loved how you found clarity through your session, and how that person saying something not nice to you actually lead to this wonderful post! There truly is a gift in every situation, if you are brave enough to look for it! xxx
Absolutely, sometimes we need to dig for the gifts, which might make them even better! Turning it into a natural response to look is the best thing 😉
Have a great rest of your week!
Ooohhh…I know those back-handed compliments – they sneak out of nowhere, disguised as nice words but with less than gracious intent. I have always wondered how some people just seem to be ‘gifted’ at being able to do it.
Well done you though. I completely agree that everything is a learning experience and we just need to find the lessons.
Oh I hear you Li-Ling!
I am always left with speechlessness and my mouth slightly hanging open not sure how to respond. The confusion that sets in in worse as you question it yourself.
Learning how to ‘feel’ about these situations is my first step. We need to remember it really isn’t about US at all, it is about THEM.
Thanks so much for stopping by 😉
I’ve been wanting to read your post ever since I saw the words: Words Crush. I recently got one of those backhanded compliments, too. A friend of mine called said that the person who said it had a “velvet dagger”. So true! This is very similar to my latest post! I think about judging people. I really enjoyed reading this!
The velvet dagger… I hadn’t heard that one before. Scary and perfect analogy. I read your post on judgement, http://www.zen-mama.com/2014/02/the-priceless-gift-to-give-your-family-and-friends/ I loved it! I think a lot of these behaviors are so habitual and need time to be reprogrammed within ourselves. We can do it especially in these day with so many awesome tools to help with our subconscious.
Just being conscious of our actions help us pause enough to change them. Your tools you mentioned will help many I’m sure!
Thanks for being here and for being YOU!