It’s Valentine’s day and one of my favorite holidays.
Not because of the flowers and candy or the hearts pasted everywhere. Although memories of those little boxes of candy hearts still bring a smile to my face. Remember giving those to your friends and classmates on Valentine’s day?
Those little words of love and encouragement printed on each small heart can still bring a smile to my face.
Valentine’s day is so important to me because that is the day that changed my life forever 28 years ago. It brought the best gift I could ever ask for and I will always hold this day close to my own heart.
You can probably guess what it is
It was the day I met my husband. The man I would spend the rest of my life with and whom I will be forever grateful for. I can say in many ways he saved my life…
When I get too mushy he will probably cringe a little but I just had to get all that off my chest.
And I could go on and on for hours with all the wonderful things he has done for me and my life but I’ll cut to the chase.
One of the biggest things that have made our relationship last over all these years is this…
We practiced the meaning of those words, without even knowing it, until one day he said those words out loud to me.
I was upset about something that he was doing, and he didn’t understand how I could be so upset or why it bothered me.
I still remember him stopping in his tracks and saying, “It doesn’t matter if I understand why you feel this way. You know what? It doesn’t matter. If it’s important to you it’s important to Me.”
Those words made me feel like the most loved woman in the world. Talk about feeling important in every cell of your body. That should be on a Hallmark card!
As I looked back over our relationship, I realized that those words were not just words but they were something we actually lived by.
Things that were important to each of us came to mind.
Fishing Without Fish
I could never understand how my husband could possibly enjoy fly fishing and releasing the fish and I wondered at times if he really was fishing, as there was no fishy evidence at the end of the day.
I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why anyone would want to go fishing and never bring a fish home to eat. Well, I mean I LOVE fish so why not throw that sucker into a cooler and bring it home to fry, right?
Nope, nada, nothing doing, no fish were seeing my frying pan.
I watched him fishing one day and it was really interesting. He would reel a fish in, carefully remove the hook and take a picture. Then he would hold it in the water, sometimes gently be massaging it until it was revived enough to swim off.
Although I was fascinated with the care he took, I would still wonder how he could enjoy just letting it go.
I mean, come on, there was no prize at the end to bring home!
If you’re happy I’m happy.
Well, you know what? It didn’t really matter. What mattered has he loved it, it made him happy and it was something that was important to him. If it was important to him I didn’t need to understand why. I just needed to make it important to me as well.
I saw how this also worked in other parts of our relationship. It spanned into how we raised our kids, as well as planning our future and so on.
When you take those words, really thinking about and implementing them, it can only end in an a win-win situation.
Think about it. “If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.” If you and the one you love, really start living this way on both sides.
You can’t lose.
If you both make the other person’s needs more important than your own, I just can’t see how any relationship wouldn’t thrive.
I realize for some, this can be a difficult thing to implement. If you can come up with many reasons, or even a few, why this wouldn’t work for you, then take a look at yourself.
For instance, there may be fear that you won’t be loved enough for this to be reciprocated. Once you deal with that fear and move forward, it is amazing how many times your partner feels ‘safe’ to do the same.
Of course, you know, I recommend The Healing Codes to deal with any of the emotions getting in the way of your success. I am here as always if you have any questions or need help.
I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Please remember to give thanks for that special someone in your life today.
To my wonderful husband Mike, I love you!